So True, So True (Fun in Africa)

•January 23, 2009 • Leave a Comment

africa crime

THIS JUST IN FROM AFRICA

•January 21, 2009 • 1 Comment

HAR HAR SOMALIA

_________________________________________________

On a personal note: I could get used to this shit.

Again.

Michelle Obama is a Klingon and Barak is STONED episode 1: The Inauguration

•January 21, 2009 • 3 Comments

 

Obama Inauguration

CHIEF JUSTICE ROBERTS: I, Barack (Bleep) Obama do —

PRESIDENT BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA: I, Barack —

CHIEF JUSTICE ROBERTS: — do solemnly swear.

PRESIDENT BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA: I Barack Hussein Obama do solemnly swear…. Uh…. That my wife is a Klingon? You know, a  “Wrath of Kahn” -era one? I mean look at her face dude! I bet she eats babies! That, and in the house every time that she rounds a courner I want to scream out “KAAAAAAAAAAAHN!!!!” like William Shatner did, but all I can do is squeak like a little mouse that just got raped by a lion. Oh shit, got a little distracted there bud. Where were we?

CHIEF JUSTICE ROBERTS: -AHEM- (Carrying on) …That I will execute the office of president to the United States faithfully.

PRESIDENT BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA: That I will execute… ALL YOU WHITE MOTHERFUCKERS OUT THERE!!! Heh heh just kidding. Hey you white people, you know I was just kidding, right?

MICHELLE OBAMA: Honey, time to gain some focus; we need you to swear in now. I know you don’t have a teleprompter, but we can work through this…. hey, is that a baby? A delicious, succulent BABY in the audience?!?!?!

PRESIDENT BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA: Shit, someone tranquilize her again. What, did you idiots get the sedative doseage wrong again? What? You say she is resisting the usual doseage now? There was enough herion and crushed up roofies to sedate fucking New York!!!

CHIEF JUSTICE ROBERTS: …Faithfully the office of president of the United States.

PRESIDENT BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA: Oh shit, sorry! -Got it. Uh… The office of president of the United States faithfully.

CHIEF JUSTICE ROBERTS: And will to the best of my ability…

PRESIDENT BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA: And will to the best of my ability… (winks to Chelsea Clinton) to tap that ass. That is it. I will, and oh yes I WILL, tap that Clintonean ass ass.

(CHELSEA CLINTON SWOONS AS A TINGLE IN HER LEGS DROPS HER TO THE FLOOR)

CHIEF JUSTICE ROBERTS: …Preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.

PRESIDENT BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA: What he said, but with more BLACKNESS. 

CHIEF JUSTICE ROBERTS: So help you God?

MICHELLE OBAMA (Struggling through the heavy doses of sedative that had just been administered via pneumatic gun): So help me… TO A TASTY DINNER OF MADE OF YOUR CHILDS FLESH!!! I WILL WEAR THEIR SMALL HEADS AS HATS AND DANCE IN THEIR ENTRAILS!!!! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAR……….. <thump>

PRESIDENT BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA: So help me God…. ‘Bout time those fucking tranquilizers kicked in. MAN is she a crazy bitch or what?

 

-Finis*

*(Stolen whole-heartedly and adapted for my use from El Rushbo, may he forgive the transgression.>

 

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

•January 21, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Ye Gods this is funny.

THEY ARE ON THEIR WAY!!!

 

obamabe-rollin

“Obama has finally taken office! RUN FOR THE HILLS, THE END IS NIGH!!!”

“AMERICA IS DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED, I TELLS YA!!!”

“Penis!” -Wait, how did that get in there?

I really think that I am going to have to take the Rush Limbaugh stance on this one and laugh my ass off at the next four years. I mean come on, you can’t let it depress you! A new theory has come out of all of this though; after I was discussing “Black Tuesday” with a friend of mine I eventually came to the conclusion that the United States has to occasionally remind itself why having a complete flaming wad of shit rags in office is a BAD THING. Is it because we get lulled into complacency with a president that actually attempts to give the common man something back in the form of tax breaks? Are we so sure of our miiltary might after fighting a war in modern times and actually whooping the shit out of our assigned enemies that we feel invincible to the assumed lack of might of the outside world? Do we just end up hating ourselves out of guilt because we are just so fucking GOOD at what we do?

-Do we really TRULY want to be French?

I dunno, but this would explain why we have the current dude that was elected by the masses (and is someone starts that 48/52 bullshit with me… well, I won’t be able to actually DO anything but I might be slightly miffed) and I expect that as he has a nice full plate to deal with as well as some pretty exciting promises made on the campaign trail that he can break to deal with in the upcoming term as the head hancho.

I am all up in the humor on this one.

Fo shizzle yo.

This is interesting

•November 6, 2008 • 1 Comment

Not to point out the obvious, but the profession that I am currently a part of is populated by large with persons that are of a more mature vein, with the average age being in the mid fifties. Due to the type of work that is done out here and the fact that it has not been a popular field of employment for some time (it involves… GASP! MANUAL LABOR!!!) the ages run a little higher.

This in turn makes them a wealth of knowledge on the past, to include the political arena.

At dinner this evening (don’t ask about a local delicacy called “bush meat”. You don’t want to know) the guys started out with continuing their annoyance with the prior election, but then drifted over into the last election that the saw that closely mirrored this one, and the name “Carter” came up. Choice nuggets of truth were being thrown around, like “what is the last number on your license plate”, “hope Iran doesn’t see this as an excuse to spark up and hold American hostages for another 444 days”, as well as “we need to get all of our Marines out of the Mid East now lest we have another Beirut”.

Funny, but they were all actually being serious.

They were all also serious in telling me that they were initially democrats back in those days, but after Carter became staunch Republicans and voted down the party line for the rest of their lives.

While listening to these guys all I could think about was a really amazing quote that myself, being the most un-read person on the planet, remember.

“Those that forget the past are doomed to repeat it.”

You think we would have, in this age of information saturation, have been able to not been blinded by this repackaging of old ideals that ran this country into the ground before. Why do we have to repeat this cycle? Is the United States inflicting pain on itself so that it can remember what it is like to hurt?

Is the U.S. political system, along with the voting public, turning EMO?

-Or is it some sadistic need to see the system that was founded on such struggle and loss, such massive effort to make it good for the future of this country… is it just the inherent need to lose all respect for the process that brought us to this point and watch it all go up in flames?

Only time will tell. Here’s to you Mr. President.

The Idea of “Right at all Costs”

•November 5, 2008 • Leave a Comment

I have a little story to tell with some potential commentary to follow.

There was a conversation that I had earlier  about this ast election. It basically involved me talking to someone that supported Obama and his recent election by the American populous, and myself pointing out it’s potential direct effects to the other’s source of income and how supporting that guy would put them out of a job as they are involved directly in the defense industry as a contractor. This was done by identifying the comments made during the Obama campaign calling for a drastic cut in defense spending. From experience in that environment, and from speaking from an economically sensible position, the easiest place to cut said spending would be in a sector that has the dollar value broken into blocks that are issued out in yearly increments with a yearly obligation attached to the money as well, because the easiest thing you would have to do to swell the coffers in this instance would be to not renew the contracts and let the services that are provided just drift off, with the persons attached to the process not being absorbed, but let go.

Makes sense, right?

The other person took some time to digest this thinking, but eventually came around and confirmed that they believed I was right. I then asked how many in that company supported the newly-elected president, and the response was staggering.

I was told that everyone in that office did.

I told her to take the information that I had provided to her and show it to a co-worker.

The response? The co-worker gave her a dumbfounded look and continued with their celebration.

I was dumbfounded. -How could this be? How could someone, some group, support another that quite often stated that not only did they did not support them in turn, but had also used as a platform proposed legislation that could potentially eliminate their very livelihood? Was this some twisted version of Stockholm Syndrome where the victim not only identifies with the attacker, but also justifies the actions that could cause them to live a much more difficult life than before? Where these people some sort of socio-masochists?

Nope. From what it sounds like just highlights another example of a person choosing a path prior to knowing where it will lead; and, even after seeing that said goal will lead to their downfall will refuse to see the risks associated but will ignore all to maintain that the goal at the end will lead to some sort of salvation…. even if the goal is NOTHING like the one promised.

Even if the goal is hardship and pain.

I know, this sounds a little disjointed, but I will flesh this out a little more on a later date.

Oh, and it is good to be back.

My Lovely lost Muse

•November 5, 2008 • Leave a Comment

I think I have found you again.

I need some time to figure out the direction that I plan on going in, but I have a couple of ideas. Not to say that I am going to go back to the two-three posts daily like I did before, but I think that I have finally finished with the teeth-cutting as well as a HUGE does of writer’s block / I could care less syndrome.

Live and learn, live and learn.

I do have something to tell all of you people that voted for Obama though. If there is not aide provided to the peoples of Africa in a very short period of time and in substantial amounts with no strings attached to it then my life here will get a bit more complicated in the next four to six months.

You think people in Kenya are sacrificing animals and declairing national holidays if they do not think that there is something personally gained from this activity? You think that local Nigerian miitants are going to lay down their arms in “solidarity” just for the joy of knowing that a slightly black person has been elected without holding out the same hand that held an automatic weapon for one of these gifts that are supposedly inherent to Obama being elected? -Those same hands, if left empty, have been known to very easily pick said weapons back up and make the lives of anyone that can be associated with the lack of a handout process the direct victims.

America, you know not what you have done. This has so many far FAR-reaching implications globally that I don’t know where to begin.

Thanks for nothing.