A Facebook Nigerian scam? More likely than a bonzai tree in your anus

Calvin: hey

Evan: holy moly. what’s up man?

Calvin: i need your help urgently

Evan: yes sir

Calvin: am stuck here in london

Evan: stuck?

Calvin: yes i came here for a vacation
Calvin: on my process coming back home i was robbed inside the hotel i loged in

Evan: ok so what do you need

Calvin: can you loan me $900 to get a return ticket back home and pay my hotel bills

Evan: i think so. that really sucks

Calvin: can you loam me now

Evan: well maybe i don’t know that’s a lot of $

Calvin: how can you loan me?

Evan: what do you want me to do

Calvin: i want you to loan me $900
Calvin: i promise i pay you back

Evan: how do you want me to loan it to you?

Calvin: you can have the money send via western union

Evan: oh yeah that’s true

Calvin: will you go and send it now

Evan: well i don’t know

Calvin: you can have it send online now http://www.westernunion.com

Evan: damn how did you get stuck there

Calvin: i came here for a vacation and i was robbed by some gang

Evan: ok well i want to help you, since we’re friends

Calvin: ok. Thanks

Evan: sure thing man
Evan: ok one question

Calvin: are you sending it now?

Evan: what was the name of our high school mascot?
Evan: hello?
Evan: cal?

Calvin: Shawnee Mission Northwest High ’01

Evan: what? i know

Calvin: it seems you dont to help

Evan: what of course i do want to help

Calvin: am in a hot sits here and you asking me silly question

Evan: what is hot sits

Calvin: am dead here

Evan: i hope you die there
YOU HACKER
good luck finding someone stupid
bye now

(a few minutes later)

Evan: oh wait. i just realized what an idiot you are and its actually kind of funny

Calvin: are you not dead

Evan: who taught you english?

Calvin: my sister#

Evan: your english is bad
it does not sound like the english of someone from the us
so no one will believe you

Calvin: how can you teach me

Evan: ok i will. but you have to send me $900.

Calvin: they dont send western union here
we only receive

Evan: what country are you in?

Calvin: nigeria

Evan: i have bad news for you
many americans know about nigerians sending emails to this country to try to get money

Calvin: yes

Evan: it is a trick that we know about so we are very careful

Calvin: eeeeeeeeeeeeh

Evan: you will not find a stupid person to send you money

Calvin: i have got some

Evan: well good job
Evan: do you live in lagos or in another city?

Calvin: Lagos
how did you got to know

Evan: i am a student of the world
i would like to travel to lagos

Calvin: lagos is a place to be
to visit
so full of enjoyment
so when are you coming

Evan: why do you steal money from people?

Calvin: i need money for my college fees
but i wanna stop
i promise i will stop
but you people slave us
during the 60s

Evan: we did not have slaves in the 60s

Calvin: but you about the slave trade

Evan: yes that is true
but slaves have been illegal here for almost 150 years

Calvin: i can see that you ae a law student
why can’t you become a lawyer

Evan: i will be a lawyer in 2 years when i finish school

Calvin: ok

Evan: how old are you?

Calvin: 27
i need work
i eed a god job

Evan: there are many nigerians in america
do you know anyone who has gone to another country?

Calvin: i know there many nigerian that is in america
i want to come to america
to complte my education

Evan: maybe i will visit someday
i hope you don’t steal any more money
good luck finding a job

Calvin: sure…. you will love it

Evan: what is your name?

Calvin: tunde

Evan: i must go tunde
be well my friend

Calvin: cant we be friend
can you add me on your facebook friends

Evan: i am sorry, but due to the odd circumstances of our initial greeting, i must terminate this relationship. i hope you understand.

Calvin: am sorry for that evan

Evan: as am i, tunde
as am i

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~ by Old Iron on January 26, 2009.

3 Responses to “A Facebook Nigerian scam? More likely than a bonzai tree in your anus”

  1. Hey… I’ve had this conversation plenty of times on Yahoo.
    I get about 4-6 scam requests on Yahoo email a day.

    This was priceless… but they are switching it up man – no greetings from the Gods that be…

  2. I love your site!

    _____________________
    Experiencing a slow PC recently? Fix it now!

  3. See…..Nigerians,dey vex and we will not stop,because you Americans are very wicked in every aspect.you guys do cheat on blacks,so you guys are in soup……..we have so many tricks,and out of 100%….we have just use 10%……we will bounce on u fuckin whites biggerly..gush

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