Fun in Africa: He did it!!! -No, HE did it!!!

First, a little motivation to prep the palette:

-And now for a little observation. Apparently there was a pirate attack off of the coast of Nigeria recently that involved a large logistics shipment to an oil construction project. Now for those of you that are not “IN THE KNOW”, the International Maritime Bureau (IMB), basically the international regulatory body for all sea-going vessels, has recently declared that piracy in the waters off of the coast of this country are actualy worse than what goes on in Indonesia (it’s that bad), so an actual piracy event here is not something out of the norm.

The funny comes after a bit more background. Be a little patient for once! I’m trying to make a fucking point here!

More background: there is this large “militant” (which translated from fucking retard  means “terrorist”) organization that calls itself “MEND” that operates out of the same area as this pirate attack occurred. If the name doesn’t ring a bell then you  might remember a little blurb in the news about a group of “political militants” (as per CNN-speak) that petitioned Jimmy Carter to come in and arbitrate one of their squabbles with the local government, in which Carter, who has knee pads and a cum dribble bib autographed by some of the worst terrorist groups operating on the face of the planet to date, actually said he would pass on this one. Memory not stimulated yet? They also were the people that said that they would “consider suspending militant pipeline attacks in response to the plea of presidential hopeful BARACK OBAMA.(LINK)” Hopefully that got you up to snuff.

So MEND came out with a press release yesterday saying …

“…those involved are criminals and they (MEND) do not support such criminal actions.”

Apparently the lines are getting a little blurry that used to devide the “militants” and the “criminals”, as the “criminals” are performing not only the same actions that the “militants” use to get their “political message across” but are also doing it under the same guise as the “militants”… and pulling a hefty profit in the meantime.

Another little nugget about MEND is their mission statement (as per Wikipedia):

“It must be clear that the Nigerian government cannot protect your workers or assets. Leave our land while you can or die in it…. Our aim is to totally destroy the capacity of the Nigerian government to export oil.”

 I would suggest that you read the entire article as it is well-written and extremely accurate about these monsters. It even discusses the tactics used, such as blowing up pipelines (one recently went up and took out an entire native village, people and all), kidnapping, and various other criminal acts that are performed under the guise of militant action for political reasons. The problem is there are some other groups around here that ALSO have guns and explosives and have caught wise to these same tactics… as well as having realized that these actions are some pretty profitable ventures. “Blowing up a pipeline” allows access to a sellable grade of petrol; kidnapping can be for ransom and NOT for political purposes, and piracy nets you a new boat and all of the cargo you can get rid of.

“Do as I say, not as I do” is in full ironic effect on this, but the difference in this and Mommy smoking a cigarrette and telling you that it is bad is that Mommy didn’t pass her message at the business end of a fully automatic weapon while extorting you for your paper route money. Mine did, but that is besides the point.

Fucking hypocrites.

Speaking of, the Nigerian Government has also said that they are going to enforce a national smoking ban in public places now.


I swear this place is like some twisted M. C. Escher fantasy land, circus freaks and all.

~ by Old Iron on May 16, 2008.

2 Responses to “Fun in Africa: He did it!!! -No, HE did it!!!”

  1. I gotta work in a different country. This place is starting to get under my skin. I know! I’ll go work in Yemen! There’s NOTHING going on there!!!

    -Sorry I got a little wordy today. I’ve been sober for about three days and I think it’s showing…

  2. At least he had that bayonet!

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