Michelle Obama is a Klingon and Barak is STONED episode 1: The Inauguration
CHIEF JUSTICE ROBERTS: I, Barack (Bleep) Obama do –
PRESIDENT BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA: I, Barack –
CHIEF JUSTICE ROBERTS: — do solemnly swear.
PRESIDENT BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA: I Barack Hussein Obama do solemnly swear…. Uh…. That my wife is a Klingon? You know, a ”Wrath of Kahn” -era one? I mean look at her face dude! I bet she eats babies! That, and in the house every time that she rounds a courner I want to scream out “KAAAAAAAAAAAHN!!!!” like William Shatner did, but all I can do is squeak like a little mouse that just got raped by a lion. Oh shit, got a little distracted there bud. Where were we?
CHIEF JUSTICE ROBERTS: -AHEM- (Carrying on) …That I will execute the office of president to the United States faithfully.
PRESIDENT BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA: That I will execute… ALL YOU WHITE MOTHERFUCKERS OUT THERE!!! Heh heh just kidding. Hey you white people, you know I was just kidding, right?
MICHELLE OBAMA: Honey, time to gain some focus; we need you to swear in now. I know you don’t have a teleprompter, but we can work through this…. hey, is that a baby? A delicious, succulent BABY in the audience?!?!?!
PRESIDENT BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA: Shit, someone tranquilize her again. What, did you idiots get the sedative doseage wrong again? What? You say she is resisting the usual doseage now? There was enough herion and crushed up roofies to sedate fucking New York!!!
CHIEF JUSTICE ROBERTS: …Faithfully the office of president of the United States.
PRESIDENT BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA: Oh shit, sorry! -Got it. Uh… The office of president of the United States faithfully.
CHIEF JUSTICE ROBERTS: And will to the best of my ability…
PRESIDENT BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA: And will to the best of my ability… (winks to Chelsea Clinton) to tap that ass. That is it. I will, and oh yes I WILL, tap that Clintonean ass ass.
(CHELSEA CLINTON SWOONS AS A TINGLE IN HER LEGS DROPS HER TO THE FLOOR)
CHIEF JUSTICE ROBERTS: …Preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.
PRESIDENT BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA: What he said, but with more BLACKNESS.
CHIEF JUSTICE ROBERTS: So help you God?
MICHELLE OBAMA (Struggling through the heavy doses of sedative that had just been administered via pneumatic gun): So help me… TO A TASTY DINNER OF MADE OF YOUR CHILDS FLESH!!! I WILL WEAR THEIR SMALL HEADS AS HATS AND DANCE IN THEIR ENTRAILS!!!! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAR……….. <thump>
PRESIDENT BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA: So help me God…. ‘Bout time those fucking tranquilizers kicked in. MAN is she a crazy bitch or what?
*(Stolen whole-heartedly and adapted for my use from El Rushbo, may he forgive the transgression.>