The only government-sponsored health care should be prostitution
This may be an old blog of mine, but it’s still relevant
There has been a lot of talk in the political circle about forcing health care to be funded by the government. I’m not going to get into the argument about what a stupid idea this is. All I will say is that if you believe it is a good idea, then move to Canada. Then when you have to come back to America to get treatment, we can deny it to you and laugh at you while you are dying.
One of the main arguments for the adoption of a government-funded health care system is the lack of affordable preventative medicine. Of course this term is rather loose. What are you actually trying to prevent? It’s not death, someone taking pills for high blood pressure is still going to die – maybe he will get hit by a bus – that would be fucking ironic. In fact, the only real preventative health care is death itself…you can’t be afflicted by anything if you are dead. Can’t you just imagine a doctor telling someone this:
“Mr. Jenkins, I have some bad news for you. You seem to have a weak heart, which means you will eventually die of a heart attack…we think it’s best that we just kill you now and get it over with…”
Personally, I believe that the government should only fund and regulate one thing on behalf of the general well-being: prostitution. The hookers could be screened – not just for disease but for ugliness- and they should require every one to go three times a week. Think of what it would solve:
-The next time your friend is dating a gorgeous chick, he will have nothing to gloat about, because you can always come back with: “She’s not as hot as the hooker I fucked last night.”
-You will never have to fuck your wife again, and your wife won’t have to touch your ugly, fat ass. Sexual problems in relationships will become irrelevant.
-Though it won’t prevent you from dying, it is preventative medicine for the worst disease, known as misery.
-The whole process of getting into bed with someone will be reduced to foolish fun. You know all those girls in the bar…yea, guess what, they can buy their own fucking drinks now.
-It won’t cost you a fucking dime! Thank you government (now leave me the fuck alone!)
-Faltered Heaven-
That is the best argument FOR a government funded healthcare program I have ever heard! And even though I have heard it before here at the BarSlaves HQ, it certainly helps to have it in writing for all the ugly chicks we know.