Sweatshops and French Boobs in Politics

Allow me to get this disclaimer out of the way for those that don’t personally know me.

 I am not trying to be pretentious in any way by mentioning that I have a preferred international airport, but I do work overseas and travel often, and most of my destinations require me to go via Europe to whatever pit of dispair that my company decides that they want me to work in. Mainly I have tried to stick to two airports when in transit; those being the ones either in Germany (on Lufthansa) and in Amsterdam (on KLM, which I think is the best of the two), but this last time my company decided that it was time to  try out Air France. Honestly I have no complaint about the actual flight itself; the service was great and as usual I dove pretty deep into my cups (i.e. got pissed, drank until the grandma next to me was a sexy bitch, etc.) while on that NINE HOUR transit because honestly there really is nothing else to do during a flight that long. Look, you can only join the Mile High club so many times by yourself before you just get raw, and I usually accomplish that within the first 20 minutes of the flight. A good aside to mention to all that are first time on the international travel circuit: all the booze you consume is free. No more do you have to worry if you have all of your bills in five dollar incriments; these people almost shove the stuff on you. See the scenario that follows:

“Miss, can I get four bottles of wine and a triple whiskey and coke with a side of nine cans of beer?”

“Oui Monseiur. When would you like moi to replentish you?”

“-Don’t worry about me, just keep it coming until it’s pass out time and make sure you bring a diaper so that I don’t piss myself. Oh, and I am going to need a funnel too.”

“Absolutely Monseiur.”

-So like I said the flight itself was of exceptional quality and I even got to renew my Bar Slaves credentials 36,000 feet above the earth (which is just fucking cool)… But the problems began when I actually arrived at the Paris-DeGaulle Airport. Here is, in one sentence, a complete summary of my entire experience in that accursed place. 

That “airport” is PURE SHITE ON A STICK.

Now allow me to expound on that evaluation.

(DEEP BREATH)

Aparently the airport has been under construction for about a millenia, a section that was under construction actually COLLAPSED some time ago, most of the signs aren’t bilingual (thank holy fuck that I actually know some french), the food is absolutely disgusting and massively overpriced… and the airport actually just smells funny, like a combination of sweaty bag lady and Chanelle number “dumpster”. -Did I also mention that there is no smoking? No matter, I didn’t plan to ever go through there again… until I read that the new Prime Minister has married a broad that I personally think has to be one of the most smokingly-hot bags of bone that I have ever seen. Now seeing as how this is a family friendly site (hookers are family friendly, right?) I won’t post the picture of this lovely mon chere with sharp knees here, but you can see her from the link. The article is about some Swiss doc in Cambodia not wanting to take cash raised from the sale of the picture blah blah blah “I’m an elitest pile of gerbil offal”, but seeing as how I could give a shit less about the Swiss gerbil offal, Cambodian hospitals, or news in general, here’s the link.

http://www.news.com.au/couriermail/story/0,23739,23535562-5012980,00.html

Direct quote:

“Accepting money obtained from exploitation of the female body would be perceived as an insult.”

In Cambodia “use of nudity is not understood in the way it is in the West”.

He did not wish his institution, the Kantha Bopha Children’s Hospital Association, “to be involved in the media exploitation of Madame Bruni”.

Well doc, we here at Bar Slaves are all about some exploitation and boobies, and you have successfully delivered them both in the same article. Now if you could only work alcohol and migets wearing clownsuits into said article it will be the coolest article ever written by human hands.

We will edit if you need. Just ask.

Our staff is standing by.

 

~ by Old Iron on April 14, 2008.