These nuts. They are to gargle.

So I have this professional email address that the world can see. Colleagues, Managers, my parents, a couple of priests, God, etc. have all recieved correspondence from this address. I mean we are talking about some pretty important shite has going out over the intertubes from this virtual base of operations, to include the Holy Grail of important items…. Porn. Well, have you ever seen a professional signature on an email before, like the ones you usually see set up from Microsoft Outlook? -There always about twelve different fonts contained in it, four colors, three different font SIZES, as well as some pretty gay little graphics like waving flags, little trees, two hippies bathing (wait, that will never happen), and so on. Friends that are attempting to break into the corporate sector take notes; this is the standard unsaid criteria for all professional email signatures.

But…. there is one thing that I left out! -What, you ask? Why, the fucking stupid little catch phrase at the bottom! You know the one, you have all seen it.

“Send an email – Save a tree”

“Caveat Empor”

“Be a mover and shaker”

…And the usual trite that someone that subscribes to a motivational quote of the day RSS or has one of those retarded calendars uses. Fucking pillow droolers.

Well, I have one on there, and it consists of just three letters.

“GMN”.

I have strangely enough only had one person actually ask me what it means. I did mention that I email God, Satan, and everyone in-between, right?

 Well now the world will know.

 It means Gargle My Nuts. 

-And I mean it.

~ by Old Iron on March 26, 2008.